10 Chocolate Layer Cakes! - To My Mother
My trip home was a great time to reflect upon family and to appreciate the good that came along in the pockets of my family "jeans," as opposed to agonizing over the dryer lint and pebbles - all of which makes BABAYS the people we are.
It really helps that everyone has been so nice lately and has let up on the "if only you would _____" discussions. There really aren't a whole lot of things I haven't tried, given my wiring and resources. Believe me, it's been a struggle being me.
Moving on...
Jesse inspired me to use this "List of 10" format when we began waxing nostaligic over the ten chocolate layer cakes in this Sesame Street video during my visit to NM. (We had hoped they might be coconut cream pies, but alas, our attachment to our mother's baking overroad the facts. - Ah, the bonds of childhood memory savants. Hope the savant in you will be as excited about my forthcoming soap box addressing Some and None.)
(Jill, do you remember that one Christmas when Andy sang by the fireplace?!)
So, without further ado, or too much sugar coating, and YES, this is an audience participation blog post (JOEY, JILL, JESSE and all extensions and next gens need apply):
(and Bakes) the Cake
(Chocolate or Otherwise)
In looking at her wedding photo while I was home for Mother's Day, the same one I have hanging across from my bed and see every morning when I get up, Mom told me that she and dad always referred to themselves as Richard Burton and Liz Taylor.
And we have any doubt that we were made of anything less than stellar stuff, are from somewhere else, or aren't destined for greatness (or madness, whichever comes first)? I think not. No wonder we emit such great light in a flat world. (Some of us even have RB/LT's great fashion sense. No names mentioned.)
It's interesting that Joey's Westin and I have come to similar conclusions: the BABAY 4 (the Joe/Joanne next gens) are FOUR ALPHAs. No Shit! Different skill sets, outlooks, career paths, etc. Hell, we don't even look alike or pronounce "Babay" similarly (By the way, Jill, how do YOU say it?....I haven't heard you use that word in a while, maybe because you're nothing but a damned B _ _ _ K S.)
I always wondered why we're not running our own corporation or a small country, for crying out loud.
For a long time, I explained us as four black sheep, Jill being so white she's odd (i.e. black), and me probably being the most "out there black" because I'm the most obtuse/abstract...fill in your own blank for it here _____________. It's okay - just do it BEHIND my back. I can't take it to my face right now.
If I've got to be a sheep (not a term that I think of when I think of any of us...we're more like goats or buffalo), I appreciate that I'm in this herd. Thanks, Mom.
2. She has survived 69 years of Agnes - the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
\(and faithfully goes back for more - sort of like lather, rinse, repeat - pattern sound familiar anybody? Can I get a witness?)
Grandma is the bomb when it comes to loving us and remembering our birthdays. (I think she's sent me 6 cards for every one I've sent her. Joey and Carly are probably in the running for best returns on cards and letters.) For those of us who live out of town, we can attest to getting cards for every other known occasion too.
When you're in town, Aggie's brownies and grilled cheese Velveeta sandwiches are the stuff of heaven! And though Grandma says she doesn't have much in the fridge, the mystery freezer (which I've always called the "World's Eighth Wonder") is full.
HOWEVER, even Chuck's eyes were in the back of his head when Grandma was playing her tape and demonstrating her exercises on the floor on Mother's Day. Can you say "YouTube" (without strawberry pie coming out your nose?)?
STOP. That being said, before you get too critical, though, and Mom, this includes you, you have to remember, it's like I always tell the Brooks next gens, "there's a little big of Aggie -- in YOU." I think a little bit might be ok.
(like Sweet Betsy from Pike, who crossed the big mountains with her lover Ike)
These days, divorce, single parenting, and cancer are pretty run-of-the-mill .stuff, complete with government assistance programs and support groups on FaceBook. But Mom was part of the first generation of women to go through any of these things. While the fellas were trying to figure out how to work a microwave and choosing between AquaVelva and Old Spice for chick bait (can anyone say, "shallow, clueless, dumbass?"), she was in a group of women who were the first to balance checkbooks, learn home repairs, and purchase major appliances - like cars, refrigerators, and Hi Fi stereos.
Remember the thrill of Mom's first stereo in that horride little apartment on Route 8? It was a Pioneer - just like her. Maybe I never remembered the apartment being so bad because the stereo was always cranked (I remember that more than a TV...did we even have one?). We still had those Christy Minstrels albums, but Mom's first NEW albums were Rita Collidge (Higher and Higher), Steve Miller (Book of Dreams), and James Taylor (JT). How's that for a savant?
Surviving cancer - lymphoma, one of the worst - and then returning to "normal" life (maybe that's what's preserved her) - I don't know if I could do it.
Don't get me wrong here, I'm not saying that these were the "high" points of my mother's life, and I can't really give out ANY points for grace either (except Jill might get a few, we'll call it 10 points). We all had problems, and none of us were equipped with magic wands to solve anything resulting in princes/princesses charming, happy endings, or pianos falling on top of the heads of any of the bastards who have screwed us. (No names mentioned, but maybe we could start a wiki for wicca?)
But we as a "herd," have managed to remain intact as a loving, respectable, functional unit, or family, if I might actually use that term, whose members still like and willingly help one another. That's pretty much a freakin' miracle by my standards. My 'rents, sibs, and next gens are awesome! Wouldn't change or trade a one. (I might secretly admit that I DO like Ripper best, though.) We all have the pioneer spirit, and I love, honor, cherish, and respect that. (omg, did I just marry everybody? eew.)
Speaking of Agnes, we all have our seemingly silly stuff. (Despite what you might think, Jill has a whole closet full; it's behind the quilting squares and Mustang Sally t-shirts. I think Kevin once let it slip that it has something to do with the wine collection and why he wanted to put the wine fridge next to the bed.)
Sometimes we might forget about it, or think nobody's looking (welcome to the world of "Sonja\-Vision"), or try to hide it (but it always oozes or explodes out, don't it? damn it! - I'm an oozer, what are you? Zack! I think you're a leaker!)
Mom gave us a place to ooze, leak, blow up...whatever.
Dad, or maybe Janet more so, didn't have much place for that kind of stuff. Mom either revelled in it (Hey, you knuckleheads! Damn, damn, knuckleheads!), was too busy to notice, or wasn't home and never knew. Regardless, we had a place to work that stuff out.
THAT'S why we were always the "go to" house. Where else was Craig Clausnitzer going to play out his John Denver fantasies? (I think that's the last "sensible" thing he's done, although I never had much faith in his single "Ode to Trudy.")
Jesse, remember humming when you ate food you liked? (You picked THAT one up from me? And by the way, where is your damned trumpet?)
Joey, lemme tell you, I'm as open to monkey business as anybody, but if I would've been mom or dad, I would've busted those darned show tunes LPs in a split second. (I think that's the sole reason God invented the iPod. Thanks, I think. Can I get a second on that anybody? You deserve all the Up with People grief you get for that alone.)
Jill, well, we'll let Trudy hold YOUR BizBag for this one. (Don't you just love Jade Garden?)
Zack, too bad digital cameras weren't invented when you did _______ at Grandma J's.?
Shall I go on? No need. Besides, my own dirty laundry pile is plenty high.
The point is, I think that having the place to experiment with stuff and nonsense has been relevant to our development, arrested or otherwise: to our gen; the cousins, neighbors, and friends we've known; and the next gens.
I appreciate "the little bit of Grandma J " part in each of us, and I'm glad that we seem to be paying it forward, regardless of where we live and who we know. But it is only a little bit, right?
by JayAyzle and the rest of the sibs
(no names mentioned)
posted by jayayzle at
1:14 PM
1 Comments
